"Dance without me; you dance so gracefully.
I really think I'll be ok; they've taken their toll, these latter days." -- Over the Rhine

Wow. I've had an interesting day and night. We talked about scitzophrenia in class today. As you can imagine (if you know me), I got pretty upset. I can't seem to get to sleep either -- thinking about my aunt Lynnda a lot. I miss her. I miss how she dressed. I miss how she smelled, like smoke, air freshener, vegetables, and Neutrogena soap. I miss how she played, caressed the piano. I miss how she hugged. I miss how she looked when she was healthy. I miss how she would get mad at me for not practicing, even though I hated it at the time. I miss her letters -- they always seemed to come at the perfect time when I was in college. I miss her bottle collection, her cats, her "hard-soft/soft-hard" water bed, as she called it, her crappy cars, everything. God, I miss her. I wish I could've told her how much I looked up to her and wanted to be her. I wish I could tell her that I am so angry at her for dying. I wish I could've been in her house that night, convincing her to live, convincing her to put that gun down.

"Oh well, OK." -- Elliott Smith