Yesterday I took a long nap instead of studying, so now it's 7:46 am and I can't go back to sleep. I guess that's not completely true -- I was studying and that's what caused me to nap. "Never study on your bed," that's what my Mom always told me, but I thought I could handle it. Guess not.

I'm looking at a cute little picture of my sissy, Kalie, and she's about 4 or 5 in it. It's her birthday (in the picture) and she's unwrapping one of her presents. It's adorable. She's got her eyes closed, kinda like she's saying in her head, "This is the best day of my life." Why can't sisters stay little and cute -- well, she's still cute, but I can't handle all this growing-up-I'm-a-teenager-now-and-I-can-drive stuff.

Boom boom, ain't it great to be crazy?

Been wondering lately what my place in this big world is. I still want more than anything to live in a third world country, where people's basic needs cannot be met on a daily basis. I'm going to nursing school, so at least I have a short-term goal now, become an R.N., but I feel like I'm supposed to be out there, out where people need a nurse for more than just an allergy shot. I don't understand why I can't just be content with where I am now -- why can't I just enjoy living in America, instead of taking for granted all the freedoms I'm afforded here, waiting and hoping for the day when I'm surrounded by extreme poverty. I am cynical about the wealth in this country -- why can't I look for the good and for the needs right here? Hmmm. Pondering such things makes my head hurt and undoubtedly makes my family worry that I really will leave someday. Geoff recently said something about looking into going overseas after I graduate -- what do you think, Ma?

"If I had it my way..."